Lori G, LPC
Therapy
What Is Internal Family Systems?
Internal Family Systems, often called IFS, is an approach that views people as having different internal “parts” that may hold different emotions, beliefs, needs, or ways of protecting us.
You might recognize this experience when one part of you wants to make a change while another part feels afraid, resistant, or unsure.
You may think:
“I know I need to set a boundary, but part of me feels guilty.”
“I want to trust people, but another part of me is always waiting to be hurt.”
“I want to stop using, but part of me still believes I need it to cope.”
IFS offers a way to approach those internal conflicts with curiosity rather than judgment.
We All Have Different Parts
Having different parts of yourself does not mean that something is wrong with you.
Most people can recognize different internal roles or voices.
There may be a part that:
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Tries to keep everyone happy
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Wants everything under control
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Becomes angry when you feel hurt
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Avoids difficult emotions
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Pushes you to keep working
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Criticizes you before someone else can
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Wants connection
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Fears rejection
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Uses substances or other behaviors to cope
These parts often developed for a reason.
Even when a coping strategy is no longer helpful, it may have originally been trying to protect you in some way.
What IFS-Informed Work Is Not
IFS-informed work is not about pretending there are literally separate people living inside you.
“Parts” are a way of understanding the different thoughts, emotions, urges, roles, and coping strategies that can exist within one person.
It is also not about trying to get rid of parts you dislike.
Instead, the goal is often to better understand them, reduce internal conflict, and develop a more compassionate relationship with the parts of yourself that may be struggling.
Related Concerns
IFS-informed techniques may be incorporated when working with concerns such as trauma and PTSD, emotional regulation, anxiety, depression, relationship patterns, grief and loss, addiction and recovery, shame, self-criticism, life transitions, and co-occurring disorders.
It can be particularly helpful when someone frequently feels pulled in different directions internally or says things like, “I know what I want, but another part of me keeps getting in the way.”
The Idea of Self
One important concept in IFS is the idea of Self.
Self refers to a grounded, compassionate, curious, and less reactive way of relating to your internal experiences.
Rather than immediately fighting with a thought, emotion, or urge, you may begin to approach it with questions such as:
“What is this part worried will happen?”
“What is it trying to protect me from?”
“What does it need me to understand?”
This shift can make it easier to respond with curiosity instead of shame or frustration.
Understanding
Protective Parts
IFS often looks at behaviors with curiosity rather than immediately labeling them as bad or dysfunctional.
A critical part may believe criticism will keep you from failing.
A people-pleasing part may believe keeping everyone happy will prevent rejection.
A part that uses substances may be trying to quiet anxiety, trauma, loneliness, or emotional pain.
Understanding the purpose behind a behavior does not mean you have to continue it.
It can help you understand why it has been difficult to let go of and what that part may need instead.
What It May Look
Like in Session
IFS-informed work may include:
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Identifying different internal parts
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Noticing when one part becomes especially activated
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Exploring what a protective part is trying to accomplish
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Identifying fears underneath a reaction
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Separating your identity from one difficult emotion or behavior
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Developing greater curiosity toward yourself
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Reducing internal conflict
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Exploring how certain parts developed
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Helping different needs feel less contradictory
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Building greater self-compassion and emotional awareness
Sometimes this work happens through conversation.
Other times, I may use an IFS-informed card deck or another experiential tool to help identify and explore different parts.
How I Use
IFS-Informed Techniques
I incorporate IFS-informed concepts and interventions within a broader person-centered and integrative approach.
I may notice language such as “part of me wants to…” or “I know this doesn’t make sense, but another part of me…” and invite us to slow down and explore that conflict rather than immediately trying to eliminate it.
We may look at what a particular part is protecting, when it tends to show up, what it fears, and whether the strategy it uses is still helping.
I may also use IFS-informed cards or other experiential exercises when they help make an internal experience easier to understand.
I do not provide formal comprehensive IFS treatment. I use selected IFS concepts and techniques when they fit the individual and the work we are doing together.
The goal is not to force every experience into a “parts” framework. It is another way of understanding yourself when that language feels useful.
IFS-Informed Work
& Other Approaches
IFS-informed techniques can work well alongside:
For me, IFS-informed work fits especially well with person-centered and Narrative approaches because it encourages curiosity, reduces shame, and helps separate a person’s identity from a single behavior, emotion, or problem.
Ready to Get Started?
Ready to schedule therapy?
Visit Healthstead Psychiatry for scheduling, availability, and insurance information.
Not sure yet?
Contact me for a complimentary 15-minute phone consultation to see whether we may be a good fit.